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Welcome to itsmaryoung, where the brand MARY YOUNG and the person, Mary, come together.

What is love

What is love

In honour of the season of love I decided it’s only fair that I talk about my love life and all that comes with dating in Toronto. I’ve been on many dates, some set-ups, blind dates, day dates and online dates – all very different but so memorable in their own way.

I wouldn’t be a 20-something millennial if I haven’t joined a dating website or app, or two, so of course I tested the waters.  I tried the usual dating apps, swiping through photos and starting a conversation based off a photo or a few friend connections but this definitely was not my area of success. I always felt like I was flipping through a catalogue looking for the best thing on the shelf and judging a book solely by its cover. Also, making small talk and trying to initiate an actual date was more work than I expected. Some of the dates I did end up going on ended leaving me feeling wanting more, not that these men weren’t enough, but rather we didn’t have a true connection. We didn’t share interests or a similar perspective, one guy claimed to never watch Netflix, that definitely wouldn’t work out! These are things that I want to know before I invest time and energy going out with someone, and I’d hope they’d feel the same way too. When it comes to dating online or with apps I highly recommend using a trusted source like eHarmony. Unlike others that offer the catalogue feel, eHarmony is targeted to people looking for long-term relationships and marriages based on connection, what a crazy thought! By using compatibility testing to match singles there’s a higher chance of actually meeting the one and building a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

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Somehow I’ve managed to go on three first dates to a Raptors game, obviously took photos to capture the excitement, big points here as I’m a huge sports fan. Sadly none of these dates lead into relationships but did to friendship, so in my books that’s a win. I personally love a sporting event as a first or second date; you can talk easily but also embrace those silent moments by being distracted with the game. Also, if it’s something you both love you’re off to a good start with sharing the same interests.

Another great way to meet people is in real life. I know, I know, how do you meet someone face to face anymore? Well to be honest, this is tricky; I definitely recommend going to different events and being open to talking to people. AGO’s First Thursday’s is always so fun and you’re likely to meet someone with similar interests enjoying the culture and art. Another way is through friends, whether that’s a house party or a smaller dinner.  I went to smaller dinner for different types of creatives in Toronto and not only met amazing and talented people, but also someone I ended up dating. Sometimes you have to put yourself out of your comfort zone and switch it up!

Thankfully I haven’t been on any terrible dates, well at least yet *knock on wood*. Some have been more awkward than others, those are usually the blind dates. As much as I love a good surprise, I also like a say in things. Blind dates are fun but the chance of a connection is less. Without meeting or even seeing the other person there’s a lack of physical connection as well as the chance that you will have absolutely nothing in common. If you trust your friend that’s setting you up, then definitely go for it. Worse case scenario, you get a good story out of it!

So if you’re looking to find the one, or even the next great one, it’s important to focus on building a good foundation based on shared interests and obviously, compatibility. That old saying really does apply to dating, don’t judge a book by its cover. Take a chance, go up to someone in person or go online, sign up for eHarmony and give it a shot!

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